Yours truly, in love…
The compatibility factor in
married life
The pride of India,
Taj Mahal
Shakespeare’s magnum opus, Romeo Juliet
Sarat Chandra’s immortal tragedy, Devdas
The common element in all of these
is the undying and true love between a couple. Love, when defined,
comes to mean as a tender and affectionate feeling for another
person. When the self takes a backseat and you put the other
person ahead, that’s love.
True love is the most quoted, searched
and wanted of all the riches of the world. It is celebrated
as a virtue and treasured as a fortune.
If love itself is the honest feeling towards another person,
then what is True Love?
- True
love in other words is ’Love for real’
-
Love for one another after the
honeymoon is over
- When
there is love without candle lit dinners and moon light muses
- Love
that survives after the initial charm fades away
- Love
that survives after passion disappears
- Love
for one other amidst real life situations, hardships and pain
True love is essential for a relationship
to last and grow. It is like the soul of a being. Air, water and
shelter come after the soul. If the soul is lost, nothing remains.
If the soul remains, everything else can be gained. If there’s
true love in a relationship it shall cross any hurdles with ease
and only grow in the process.
True Love is not something
that you ’fall into’ or ’fall out of’.
It does not match up with any of
these so-called definitions of love that we see now-a-days.
Every person’s love is different and yet so similar. Love
is a very very personal experience, which is as unique as the
person is.
True love does not come from instant
attraction nor is it a relationship from the past life that
shall be recognised at first glance of a person. It’s
a very slow process which builds and grows on its own through
interaction and communication. It involves understanding and
undergoing of various types of emotions. It is ‘trusting
to not worry’, ‘understanding to relate’ and
‘strength to be able to make it through the tough times’
in order to be together for the good times. True love is a real
response to a wholesome comfortable relationship.
When partners are nice to each
other, have real respect for each other, have real trust in
each other, true love generally builds over time.
True love does not happen,
it evolves.
Such relationship can be established
only through the bonding between two individuals. Such bonding
which is quintessential for inter-personal relationships to
sustain and grow is what we call Compatibility.
When another person’s presence enhances your own, it’s
compatibility. The ability to be companions is compatibility.
It is the positive correspondence between people.
In the arena of finding a life
partner, compatibility is measured through age, religion, education,
occupation, etc. Compatibility is also often mistaken as being
tolerant of or withstanding another person.
Love is certainly the deciding
factor for sustaining relationships. But love in relationships
is a result of non-conflicting personalities. Conflicts in relationships
arise when there is a lack of personality compatibility. Compatibility
exists between complementing and corresponding personalities.
It requires knowing the emotional, sexual, intellectual and
spiritual interests of a person, because, being well tuned in
one aspect of life does not guarantee couples as wholly compatible.
Most often than not, people suffer
in relationships, mainly because they are well matched but ill
suited. Only when people are well suited, their personas harmonize
and this grows into true love.
Love based on this kind of compatibility
lasts longer, sometimes forever. Compatibility brings in not
just love but also comfort in relationships. For any two individuals
to get into committed relationship, there has to be compatibility.
Not only their likes, dislikes, ideas and opinions should interest
each other, the stereo-types and prejudices should also adaptively
match to avoid unpleasant situations.
When there is no compatibility
in a relationship, it suffers. Compatibility often leads
to love that lasts, but love may not always lead to compatibility.
When a match is decided upon by physical attributes or preferences,
it leads to infatuation or attraction for a brief period. In
the begining it is fine, but when the charm wanes out and the
other characteristics of the couple show up, the relationship
goes sour. It is always compatibility and emotional ability
to merge with each other that matters in holding the relationship.
On the other hand, if a couple have compatible personalities,
their relationship is bound to grow and sustain. The important
rule for survival of a relationship is the fine tuning between
the couple and this has to be attained by taking right decisions
and choosing the right life partner. For marriages to last beyond
romance, partners should be able to relate and recognise each
other’s positive traits and help overcome the others.
Years later in a successful marriage, love remains long after
the romance fades out and this is the combined result of trust,
respect and acceptance of each other.
Having known a person’s attitudes
puts us in a position where you know what to expect instead
of merely accept. Though the unpredictable seems exciting at
times, predictably is always a comfort.
When opinions, ideas and attitudes
clash, relationships collapse. No amount of support can hold
a breaking relationship nor heal the ugly scars it leaves behind.
The physical attraction which got you together could end up
causing repulsion.
Avoidance of all these problems
have to be taken care of before plunging into matrimony.
Prevention is always better
than frantic search for later cures.
This means finding a life partner
through resources which concentrate beyond matching the physical
attributes or material preferences. The wisest route to a blissful
marriage is careful selection of your life partner before the
last leap. Reveal your preferences, likes, dislikes, opinions,
habits and expectations beforehand to match it with the other
person’s.
All said and done, it is now agreed
upon that compatibility helps in evolvement of true love and
true love is the strength that shall hold a marriage for a life
time. This is where ShaadiKaro’s Intelligent
Matching And Grading Engine (IMAGEngine) comes into picture.
The IMAGEngine is a personality matching feature, which is available
only on ShaadiKaro. It helps you to choose the most
compatible match for you from all of the possible profiles on
the site.
With the IMAGEngine
test, the search is a lot simpler. It has the unique
characteristic of finding a partner to match your mindset, thus
minimizing any futile regrets of a wrong choice later.
It now takes lesser time to do the right thing than try to find
out why you went wrong.
Life is about choices. What you
choose could effect you for a lifetime.
You could choose compatibility
and find true love, or, let true love find you through compatibility.
Either way, marriage could be that final step which will bring
in and bind you to that eternal love that compliments your life.
For all the right reasons!
