Indian Matrimonial @ ShaadiKaro Matrimonials          

You must be married; know someone who has been married or possibly even have a married family member ;) The following is not intended as an endorsement of that condition. Nor is it intended to condemn the sanctity of marriage as a whole. Actually, there is no such motive, just a desire to entertain with a little humour and from what someone had said, as ‘little’ humour as possible.

Just sit back and enjoy, have a few chuckles at your partner's / lover's / (dare I say it?) spouse's expense!


Wife Upgrade
Skip this if you are not very familiar with computers… errr… read it anyways…

If you're having trouble with your Girl Friend, you're not alone. Even if you never had problems, upgrading your Girl Friend to Fiance or Wife will not be easy, Not to mention the problems afterwords. Find out what a poor guy has to say!

I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it.

I hear that DrinkingBuddies won't crash if GirlFriend is run in the background mode and the sound is turned off. I just run them seperately, and it works okay. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem co-existing with my Leisure 3.1 and QuietTime programs, often trying to abort them with some sort of unwanted high-pitched noise.

I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0. I just thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and it would require a Token Ring to run properly. I didn't like that idea, and wanted it removed. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, it uninstalled itself.

Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it, it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while to re-check my hardware.

I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while, until I discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 on top, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically detects the presence of any other versions of GirlFriend and communicates with it in the background in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions.

The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality.

Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts, which are very expensive. And I've never liked GirlFriend's totally 'object-oriented' resource requirements, and that interface is cumbersome and even counter-intuitive.

A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.1, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. To his dismay, however, he discovered that if you don't upgrade again to Fiancee 1.0, GirlFriendPlus 1.1 expires within a year of the upgrade. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade yet again to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a HUGE resource hog.

It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. In fact, it has even automatically deleted several of his other programs to make room for itself, not the least of which was DrinkingBuddies 1.0 as well, which used to be one of his favorite applications. This is particularly disturbing to me, as we used to run DrinkingBuddies 1.0 on a network with several of our mutual friends, and now he can't even connect anymore!

He told me that one of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSexPlus, which sounded great. Well, as it turns out, the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes inexplicably prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly when he starts the new plug-ins he wanted to try. Also, for no apparent reason, the OralSex 1.0 module that worked fine in his previous versions of GirlFriendPlus, stopped working the instant the upgrade to Wife 1.0 finished installing.

On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything with the FreeSexPlus module. This warming up process requires him to run an antiquated version of ForePlay Beta, which has an agonizingly slow interface, and which has an unfortunate tendency to crash, requiring a cold reboot to his system. The real insult to injury however, is that even though he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came embedded with MotherInLaw 2.0, which has an irritating automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off.

I've heard that I would really like the CoolGirlFriend 1.0 Deluxe Upgrade (which is supposed to come bundled with a completely functioning version of FreeSexDeluxe), but that release is no where to be found - not even the Beta version! That release is also supposed to come with it's own resource management module seamlessly layered in, so it won't conflict with any of my other programs (barring previous versions of GirlFriend, which I would happily delete!).
I didn’t know what to do! To solve this problem, I called a friend of mine to check if upgrading GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 would make any sense.

His story:
He upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning child-processes, which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself in such a way that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 8.3, BeerBash 2.5 and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired plug-ins, such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he said he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with GirlFriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.

Apparently you cannot install GirlFriend 2.0 on top of GirlFriend 1.0. You must uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.

Apparently the versions of GirlFriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for GirlFriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

One more thing - All versions of GirlFriend continually pop up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0

My life now is ONE BIG MESS!