o
the dawn
of romance and the commencement of history;
o
a word that
should be pronounced as "mirage";
o
a very good
way to promote civilization – reason: If you get a good wife you
will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher;
o
a process
much like a cafeteria - you carefully look over the choices, select
what looks the best - and pay later;
o
an event
which is called "tying the knot" - unfortunately, the
knot can be a noose;
o
a word which
always means commitment - but so does insanity;
o
a ceremony
favored in Shimla - it's the only way to beat their cold winters
and lack of central heating;
o
something
that changes the performance of a driver - there is no longer
any effort needed to keep both hands on the wheel;
o
the only
permanent cure for love;
o
is only
compatible when the man makes a living and his wife makes living
worthwhile;
o
the only
adventure open to the cowardly;
o
something
like a feast - unfortunately, sometimes the appetizer is better
than the main course;
o
a group
which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making
in all, two;
o
the alliance
of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other
who never forgets them;
o
the process
that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction;
o
a legal
custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife;
o
a rite where
two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most
delusive, and most transient of passions, are required to swear
that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting
condition until death do them part;
o
is the only
legal method of suppressing freedom of speech;
o
is made
out of two toothbrushes but a single toothpaste tube;
o
is just
a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffering;
o
the process
of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred;
o
a condition
where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected
what he was getting;
o
the ceremony
which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he
will find he can't blame on the government;
o
is much
like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated,
often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone
who tries to come between them;
o
the continuous
process of getting used to things you never expected;
o
a status
which depends upon two to be successful but only one to turn into
a failure;
o
is a book
in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of
the book is prose;
o
like a bargain,
and a sensible person understands that he / she must get a better
bargain;
o
in Japanese is called "Judo" - the art of conquering
by yielding.
o
a confrontation
which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle
art of insincerity possible between two human beings;
o
is not a
word, but a sentence;
o
a delightful
form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy;
o
an investment that pays big dividends if you manage to
keep up the interest.
o
a ritual which should end with the groom asking: "And
do you understand that from this moment on, you will be always
be wrong?";
o
a rite which a punditji should perform at no charge -
don't they say that you shouldn't profit by other people's mistakes?
o
a union
which is in full bloom when the husband knows what to remember
and his wife understands what to forget
o
is the only
permit taken out after the hunt is over
o
the triumph
of hope over experience
o
is achieved
when silence between two people is comfortable;
o
is when
a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one
argument and begins the next;
o
one in which
a woman gives the best years of her life to the man that made
them so;
o
is not so
much finding the right person - but being the right person;
o
is best
assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out
in the same direction;
o
is when
either party is good at taking orders
o
is like
the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath - after
a while it's not so hot
Definitions related to marriage
o
the person
who is the first to put her foot down after being carried across
the threshold;
o
a woman
who looks happy but isn't - the look is the triumph;
o
a woman
who wants a man to make little advances to her during courtship
and large advances after marriage
o
a virtue
which is formed in youth and reformed by marriage
o
a person
who feels that divorce should cost more than a marriage - because
it's worth much more
o
the only
place where divorce comes before marriage
o
that period
in a man's life which can sometimes end happily - unless it ends
in marriage;
o
a word with
two meanings: (1) in war, it is a battle and (2) in courtship,
a surrender
o
the one
sure way to make a marriage last
o
a man who
lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness;
o
a sensible
sort of a man - he never thinks of romance and marriage;
o
a man who
has to grow old alone;
o
is much
like a fire - he goes out if unattended;
o
living proof
that women can take a joke;
o
a man who
has one mistake in his existence - and keeps learning from it
all his life;
o
what is
left of a lover, after the nerve has been removed;
o
a person who never really becomes "good," he
is merely more proficient.
o
that man
who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either
truthful or cynical)
o
a man who
feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox
o
a man who
always consults his better half instead of his better judgment;
o
a species
of worm which is afraid to turn;
o
a man who
is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's
wives
o
is, in a
man's second marriage, her first mate
o
one who
thinks twice before saying nothing;
o
a man who
buys his wife such fine china that she will never trust him to
do the dishes;
o
a man who
is never so busy bringing home the bacon that he forgets the applesauce;
o
a man who
is on listening terms with his wife
o
a man who
expects his wife to help him while washing dishes
o
a method
of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly
see anything wrong with each other;
o
an action
that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty
o
a wasting
disease - easily cured by marriage
o
man's grand
delusion that one woman differs from another;
o
something
they say is blind - it's marriage which is the real eye opener;
o
that delightful
interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that
she looks like a haddock;
o
the only
game that two can play and both win;
o
the last
and most serious of the childhood diseases;
o
what makes
marriage possible - habit makes it last;
o
a temporary
insanity curable by marriage
o
the tie
that blinds;
o
consists
of happiness, given back and forth;
o
a situation
which happens when you think almost as much of another as you
do of yourself;
o
is a fan
club with only two members;
o
the only
virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished;
o
the triumph
of imagination over intelligence;
o
the child
of illusion and the parent of disillusion;
o
a strange
feeling that comes over a man - when he keeps wanting to call
a girl by his last name;
o
is like
the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain
empties;
o
a word used
to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of
the middle aged, and the mutual dependence of the old;
o
a situation
- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes,
but looking outward together in the same direction;
o
something
which combines the two greatest powers on earth - war and peace;
o
the balm that heals the wounds that words make.
o
correspondence
that should always bear the salutation: "My Dearest, and
Gentlemen of the Jury"
o
people who
never get tired of each other because they are always talking
about themselves
o
marrying
a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job
o
items which,
by grand design, always cost more - for example: a divorce decree
costs more than a marriage license
o
a person
who has learned to turn off the car engine when his wife says:
"I'll be there in a minute"
o
another,
and probably more precise way, to spell marriage
o
a person
who cannot live in the institution of marriage - but doesn't mind
frequent visits
o
a legal
fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits
o
Something
which, if directed to your wife, will lighten your marriage -
even if it frightens her at first.
o
a physical
craving which appears at puberty and ends at marriage
o
a device
that may help a marriage - then again, the couple may drift apart
o
someone
who is too beautiful for words - but not for arguments;
o
the one
person with whom if you win an argument - you lose;
o
a great
comfort during her husband's troubles - those, that as a bachelor,
he would never have had;
o
a person
who sits up with you when you are sick, and puts up with you when
you are not;
o
a female
who would rather mend your ways than your socks;
o
a woman
who can complain she has nothing to wear while saying in the same
breath she needs more cupboard space;
o
a spouse
who is sometimes so, because she has the best husband - more often
it is that she makes the best of the husband she has
o
one who
makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in
reality, he is ONLY chairman of a company
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