| |
As
human beings, each of us is born with our own set of characteristics,
which constitute our basic personality. It is unlikely that two
individuals are 100% alike or have everything in common between
them.
So long as we stay
single, the issue of 'adjustment' does not often arise & so
the 'individuality' of our traits is confined to us alone. However,
once we decide to change our 'single' status and enter the institution
of 'marriage', things undergo a change beyond our anticipation.
Whereas it is unlikely that after marriage our prospective spouse
will change himself/herself completely to become exactly like us,
we can nevertheless minimize the compromise in our relationship
by avoiding an extreme situation & consciously choosing someone
who is compatible or like-minded, who matches our
personality, who understands and shares our views, and who is willing
to walk together with us on the pathway of life.
|
| |
Compatibility:
The
foundation of a happy marriage
For years, the issue of compatibility has been ignored in
the conventional system of arranged marriages in India & more
than often, our marriages are the outcome of a social & cultural
obligation rather than an individual's conscious decision to share
his/her life with the person of their choice. Apparently, the best
available match based on conventional qualities like looks, height,
weight, occupation, social & financial status etc. is taken
to be a guarantee to a happy married life.
|
| |
What
most people fail to understand, however, is that there is a vast
difference between finding the best match and finding the
most compatible match.
The
truth is, the more compatible your life partner, the happier
your married life.
A
happy marriage is built on the foundation of love, trust and commitment.
A union of mind, body and soul, in which two people are joined to
enjoy a lifelong love & companionship that endures all trials
and tribulations of life. Ignorant of this fact, many people walk
into marriage full of fanciful thoughts & thinking that the
honeymoon will never end.
The true success of a marriage lies is the word 'together'.
The ability and willingness to overcome difficulties and grow together
with each experience of life. However, it becomes challenging when
due to individual differences, conflicting issues arise continuously
and adjustment is almost impossible. The truth is, most people allow
love and romance to be the determining factor for marriage. True,
we must have both for a marriage to work. But, when the 'newness'
of this 'fairy tale' romance ends and reality begins to unfold itself,
it is compatibility, alone which sustains the relationship.
Compatibility is vital, yet it is something that many relationships
lack. As mentioned earlier, by nature no two individuals are alike
and so, it is impossible to like everything about each other. However,
too many different interests and tastes are bound to weaken the
bond.
Of
all relationships in life, true friendship is indeed the
most enduring; And so, for a marriage to be happy & ever-lasting,
it becomes a pre-requisite that before two people get into the roles
of ' 'husband' & 'wife', they becomes each other's best friends-knowing
about each other's wants, needs, interest, aspirations, goals, fears,
secrets, desires etc. Often couples that rush into marriage and
do not value the 'friendship' aspect find themselves consulting
'others' about their confidential marriage issues. This lack of
friendship sometimes also leads them to infidelity, since individuals
who are unsuccessful in finding comfort in their partner end up
seeking comfort elsewhere!
On the other hand, friendships that evolve into relationships are
happy & lasting because as friends, the individuals have already
established a bond of compatibility and understanding
& have come to know each other. As friends, they are aware of
each other's behaviour and attitudes, strengths and weaknesses &
have accepted each other just the way they are.
In the long run, a couple that is truly compatible will develop
a bond of friendship, love & mutual respect that will together
form a strong, solid foundation to a happy married life!
|
