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DO's and
DON'Ts of a potential relationship
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In
any potential relationship, without the beginning base of truth,
trust cannot occur. Without the development of trust, respect will
never be born. Without a level of respect for each other, a functional
relationship of love and commitment will not seed and nourish. Intimacy
occurs when we are willing to share ourselves completely with another
in this order. It is the gift we get when we learn to engage in
a balanced, loving relationship.
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Know
who you are |
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To
ensure a happy married life, you must seek a 'compatible' life partner.
In common terms, the word compatibility means "like minded" or someone
who shares similar views, attitudes, habits, dreams, aspirations
etc. Before u seek your 'alter ego' to spend the rest of your life
with, ask yourself- Do you like who you are? Are you happy with
your self-image? |
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Know what you want out of a relationship |
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Are
you clear about what you want out of a relationship? Or, you've
just been going around demanding things your friends and family
members have advised you to seek in a relationship? Tell yourself
the truth about what you want, not what others (family, friends,
spouse) say you should have. Tell everyone else the truth about
what you want. Don't be afraid to share your vision and dreams with
those you love. |
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Be honest |
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Truth
is the first pre-requisite for building trust in relationships.
Respect is earned from trust, and love is earned from respect. Never
put honesty at stake in any relationship by concealing facts or
being apprehensive about the consequences of revealing the truth.
Being truthful to yourself and to others and being able to communicate
your emotions frankly is the only way to creating a bond of trust
and harmony in a relationship. |
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Work on relationship |
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Remember
there are no easy roads, no shortcuts in relationships. Every relationship
is unique. Getting into a relationship might seem easy, but sustaining
it for a lifetime requires one to constantly work on it. It takes
two to form a relationship and if one of the person is in the habit
of acting on his/her emotional impulses and rushing in and out of
relationships without devoting it sufficient time and putting the
blame on the partner, it only proves his/her own failure as a human
being and reflects their incapability to understand the graph of
successful and long-lasting relations in life. Be patient. Be kind.
But most of all, be empathetic and understanding. |
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Live in the present |
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If
you are both committed to creating a happy and harmonious relationship,
agree to start doing it today, without any judgments or prejudices
about the past. Instead of focusing on the problems, be willing
to work on the solutions. Let go off your need to control the consequence
of each decision you take; Live from moment to moment, one day at
a time. The true joy of living can only be experienced in the present
moment. |
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Be expressive |
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Appreciation
and gratefulness have magic in them. Learn to express your feelings
and convey your appreciation towards your partner. Never let a day
pass by without saying or showing in some way how much your relationship
and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express
how grateful you are for all the good times you've shared with him/her
and how wonderful the future would be with him/her by your side. |
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Be sensitive |
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Any
negative, hurtful or sarcastic remark is abusive and detrimental
to the growth of a relationship. Like a sharp knife, each word will
carve out a chunk of a loving relationship that can never grow back.
Before you open your mouth, try keeping yourself in your partner's
shoes & consider the source and outcome of your remark(s). |
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Agree to disagree |
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Life
is short. Don't waste it on arguments that have no meaning or purpose.
If you are truly compatible, you must learn to 'agree to disagree'
and dissolve your mutual differences in respect for each other's
opinions. In this way, you can laugh about it, and go on to the
next thing. After all, for you to be right, must your partner be
necessarily wrong? |
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Be forgiving |
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To
forgive and to seek forgiveness is the greatest of all human virtues.
When you finally learn to say, "I admit I made a mistake" or "I
am sorry", you get to finally hear you are O.K. Similarly, when
you say, "It's okay, I forgive you", you are not only showing your
partner how sensitive, compassionate & understanding you are, but
also allowing him/her the freedom to confess and communicate his/her
feelings openly to you without the fear of being misunderstood or
unpardoned. In other words, by practicing forgiveness, you are allowing
your partner to become your confidante and best friend. |
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Be unconditional |
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Unconditional
love is easy to talk about but hard to practice in real life. It
is an inner virtue that holds key to happy relationships and is
indeed the foundation stone for all quality relationships. To accept
your mate unconditionally just the way he/she is, rather than trying
to change him/her according to your own expectations & for your
own sake is what is meant by unconditional acceptance. Instead of
constantly cribbing about what you dislike about your partner and
loosing out on all the happiness and good times you can have, try
looking at and valuing all the things you admire about him/her and
which bind you together in a relationship. Don't forget each one
of us have our own set of flaws and nobody is really perfect. Including
you! |
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