Marriage is a very
auspicious event in the Bengali community. Bengali matrimonials,
like all other Indian matrimonials, are a mixture of pure custom,
tradition and religious beliefs.
The Bengali matrimonial alliance starts with the final talk known
as ‘Paaka Katha’ where the parents of the bride or
the groom, along with one or two very close relatives or friends,
go to the other party's house to formally settle the marriage.
This may be followed by a meal.
In the Bengali community, the engagement is referred to as ‘Aashirbaad’.
Here again both the families visit the respective houses with
gifts to be exchanged. It is interesting to note that the groom
or the bride do not accompany the family on this occasion. The
girl is presented with a gold ornament by the boy’s parents.
The actual ritual of a Bengali matrimonial ceremony begins with
the ‘Adhibas’, which is a gathering of relatives and
friends at the bride and the groom’s house. This normally
takes place an evening before the wedding or on the day of the
actual matrimonial ceremony. A ‘Vriddhi’ is also held
wherein prayers are offered to the Ancestors. A paternal uncle
usually performs the ‘Vriddhi’. Bengali tradition
demands that the uncle and the bride/groom be on a liquid diet.
In the Bengali marriage ceremony, piris are used to seat the bride
and the groom, and are delivered a day ahead at the bride’s
home where the mandap is being readied. A relative of the groom
takes to the bride, ‘Gae Halud Tattva’ which includes
gifts of at least six sarees and cosmetics. Also among the gifts
are fish, assorted sweets, curd, paan, dhaan and durba.
As per Bengali culture, ‘Adhibas Tattva’ is done in
return and gifts from the bride’s house are sent to the
groom. This includes a sari for the groom's mother, and fish,
sweets, curd, paan, dhaan, and durba. In the Bengali community,
conch shells are blown during almost all the matrimonial ceremonies
being held.
Unlike other Indian matrimonial processes, the Bengali marriages
differ, wherein there are more post - matrimonial ceremonies than
pre - matrimonial ceremonies.
‘Dadhi Mangal’ takes place on the actual matrimonial
morning before sunrise. The bride and the groom are offered milk
- based products in their respective houses (curd, milk, meetha
etc) to eat. They then will not be allowed to eat until the matrimonial
rites are over. In the Bengali community, the maternal uncle of
the girl goes to fetch the groom to be. The groom then leaves
for the bride’s home where he is welcomed by the girl’s
mother with an aarti. This is where the matrimonial rituals will
take place.
With the ‘Shubha Drishti’ the boy and the girl set
eyes on each other. This is followed by the exchange of garlands
(Mala Badal). The actual wedding ceremony in the Bengali community
is known as the ‘Vivah’. During the matrimonial ceremony
the Bengali bride adorns herself in all her bridal finery. A mukut
is placed on her head. A design of the mukut is traced on her
face using the chandan (sandalwood) paste. The bride must sit
with the gaach kouto and kaajal laata for the ceremonies that
follow.
