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Are
you a Compro-miser? |
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Is
compromise the only way to save a relation? |
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Relationships
require attention and affection to sustain and grow. They mostly
survive on an “action-reaction” basis. Many a times
we come across the word ‘compromise’ as the golden rule
for a successful partnership of any kind. Under general terms, compromise
is defined as the action of “giving up something to settle
a difference of opinion between each other”. |
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Compromise
is the most easily advised and toughest to practice of tips to hold
on to a relationship. We have to give up some of our needs and wants
in order to make a relationship work. If relationships prevent us
from fulfilling our needs, they are not serving us. How do we love
others if we fail to love ourselves through self-neglect by giving
up our wants and needs? It is a mistaken notion of sacrifice that
requires a neglect of ourselves for others. |
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If
it is not compromise then it is the word '’adjust" that
comes back to haunt you in relationships. You are expected to put
up with what you are not willing to, in the name of adjusting and
giving space in your relationship. Whether it’s compromising
or adjusting, in the long run we only end up draining ourselves
and our partners by creating a mock marriage. |
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Since
our real need for love is not met, we make demands of our ’loved’
ones to give us what they cannot and what we have not given to ourselves.
We have given up our needs by attempting to please them and fail,
because we become needy instead of pleasing. Lack of communication
has a significant impact on how unsatisfied and unfulfilled one
feels with their partner. It is undoubtedly harder to cooperate
and compromise when a relationship is strained as one feels hurt
and disappointed by someone close. It is much more difficult to
exert the effort that is needed to work on problems and to continue,
even when one may be feeling helpless and hopeless about the future
and be unable to find the positives in a relationship. It is important
to remember that we have as much ability to help and heal a relationship
as we do to hurt and damage it. This does not mean we should again
get back to the good old compromise-and-cooperate mantra to set
things right.
A relationship, especially in a marriage, is like a glass. It is
sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it
is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or
even broken.
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What’s
the solution? Prevention or Cure?
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If
compromise is no longer the ideal way out of an argument or trouble
in a marriage, what else is?
The wisest route to a blissful marriage is careful selection of
your life partner before you enter a relation. You should take extra
care in choosing the person you marry, as it’s a decision
that shall make or mar the rest of your life. Reveal your preferences,
likes, dislikes, opinions, habits and expectations beforehand and
match it with the other person’s. The unique
personality matching feature
at ShaadiKaro helps you in choosing the most compatible
match for you from all of the possible profiles on the site. Selecting
the right partner means marrying the one whose personality compliments
your own, and that assures a more sensible match. When personalities
match, understanding and relating to each other comes much more
easily and naturally.
We no longer have to rely on people's abilities to compromise in
the face of intense emotional loads. We can lighten the emotional
loads with relative ease thereby facilitating understanding and
cooperation. This allows the relationship to flower and produce
love instead of luggage, bliss instead of baggage, freedom instead
of friction. Selection of your partner in accordance to your personality
and realising your compatibility is definitely the first and the
best step to a harmonious marriage.
No one is perfect and that remains a norm. No matter how hard you
try, or how loving and respectful of a couple you are, there is
a disagreement once in a while. Such arguments should not harm your
relationship.
Respect, mutual trust and love above all should be the guidelines
to conform to and let your marriage that was matched in heaven be
blessed on the earth.
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