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Is
something unsettling you about settling down?
So! You have decided to go ahead and get entangled by the holy knot.
Well! We are first going to compliment you on that brave decision
and then help you out to get a little unsettled about getting settled,
to use the language that your parents would approve of,
" Beta! / Beti! It's about time you got settled! "
Well, your parents are not too
far away off the mark when they use that phrase. Marriage involves
quite a bit about settling in with the right partner and being
the right partner for the man or woman in your life.
There was a time when Indian society was famous for their swayamvar
arrangements, when choice was a famous five-letter word judiciously
exercised. Why then has marriage become such a complicated issue
in the present times?
Knots and Crosses
The advice to you is to think straight and get your fundas right
about the knots and ties that will bind you to your life partner.
After all, you want the holy knot that you plan to tie to become
a flowing yarn of happiness, not an unbearable cross of burden!
A step by step set of simple procedures
What if you were asked simple questions, like how do you drive a
car, how do you operate a computer, how do you open a bank account,
how do you write a letter? For most of us, all these questions would
make us explain a set of simple procedures that need to be followed
everyday in our lives as part of our day-to-day activities.
Getting to know the ground rules that make a great marriage
What a lot of people miss out is that the ground rules for marriage
are just the same too. Just as there is a step by step procedure
for all those events and processes in life, there a good blue print
and action plan for a great marriage. Follow the plan and you are
going to get the results you are looking for!
An Action Plan for Marriage
To decide who's the right guy or gal for you is indeed a tough job
when you think about the enormously difficult exercise that the
task involves. Searching for a potential partner can be an awfully
cumbersome act that can turn out to be a real surprise, shock or
even disappointment! Because, for more than 90% of the people all
over the world, it is very difficult to say clearly and correctly,
exactly the kind of person that they are AND the kind of person
that they are looking for!
Isn't that amazing when all through our lives, we wander through
talking about marriage? The movies, magazines, books, music albums
are all so full of this magic word, marriage. Yet, to those who
are in the process of looking for their perfect mates, there is
an awful scarcity of vital information that can educate, inform
and guide them correctly and clearly through this most beautiful
experience in life.!
Seven facts that can help to make us become an ideal life partner
Just Be You!
The deepest secrets of the universe are hidden in the soul of each
one of us. Yet, it is just a very small percentage of us who reach
out and help our souls to express themselves.
Learn to be comfortable with yourself! Like Yourself!
It is so obvious isn't it? Yet, most of us simply don't do that.
The harsh words of criticism that we may have faced somewhere down
in our childhood has left its lasting mark. Learn to be gentle and
kind with yourself. Understand that you, as an adult, are capable
of making responsible and mature decisions in your life.
Be a Happy person
It is only if you are happy from within, that you can share the
happiness with another. To verify this statement, you need to have
little more than a bowl of water. Fill it to the brim and observe
how the water simply overflows.
Our attitudes can colour the way
we behave and react in our lives completely. Attitudes are contagious.
If you have an upbeat and positive attitude, you will radiate
that and transform the lives of all those around you.
Be proud of yourself!
You are the person you are. Buck teeth, baldpate, over weight,
pock marks on the face, short stubby, bowed legs, grey hair, crow's
feet, laugh lines, puny arms, shrill, high pitched voice…
it doesn't really matter! You are who you are with your own unique
identity and your own unique sense of humour and your own wonderful
ways of experiencing and understanding the world.
You may have failed to pass matriculation but you may be successful
at running a business. It doesn't matter whether you have been
sacked from ten jobs in ten years, or you have divorced thrice.
It doesn't matter whether you are doing the same job for the 15
years on the same salary or if you stutter while speaking.
It doesn't matter - as long as you
don't develop a complex about it. Always remember that each one
of us is special in our own way. We are the way we are because
we are meant to be that way in God's divine plan. There will always
be someone somewhere out there in the universe who will find the
same qualities that you consider in yourself as unappealing rather
devastatingly attractive.
Keep a diary
Write down little notes in your dairy about your feelings. This
is very important. Most of us in this fast paced world are losing
touch with our feelings. Keep time off each day when all
you do is think about all the things that you want to
do in life. Make a set of lists. List out your goals, short term,
long term and lifetime goals. Make a time frame in which you plan
to achieve them. Write down truthfully in your diary the sad,
happy and hurtful experiences that have happened. A diary can
help you come closer to understanding your own self.
Imagine yourself married
Now imagine yourself as married and think about how you and your
life partner could work towards achieving some of those goals.
Write down very simply what marriage means to you and what kind
of qualities you expect to see in the person whom you would like
to marry. Write out a hundred and one fun things that you would
like to share and experience with someone else, besides your own
self. Talk to people whom you admire and respect as a happily
married couple. Find out what they have to say about what marriage
means to them.
List out your likes and dislikes
Once again, we harp on the fact that you need to be really close
to your true self, to know yourself really, really well! You can
do that only if you systematically analyse your actions, your
reactions, your likes, dislikes, good habits, bad habits, strengths
and weaknesses. There is a method by which you can come closer
to knowing yourself.
It is very important to be alert
and watchful about yourself so that you can introspect and come
closer to knowing about the person you really are. Study your
emotional self. Study how you react when you are sad, angry, happy,
hurt or resentful.
Conclusion
Once you have these concepts very, very clear in your mind - knowing
the kind of person that you are and knowing the kind of life partner
you are looking for - you can really begin your search. The best
way to begin this search is by getting help to know
yourself better and even the one you are looking for,
with whom you are most compatible.
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